Up Past Curfew

“It’s ten minutes past curfew, why are you still up?” The voice is squeaky and harsh in my ear as a hand grabs my arm and pulls.

I look. Someone new. I’m growing weary of this. It’s another nurse, not Nurse Nancy, and she is escorting me down a dimly-lit hallway. The air tastes of night, I can smell the darkness. I don’t see windows. Just hanging light fixtures.

The nurse looks like an old suitcase, some kind of iguana in a linen white uniform with an ink-smudged tag that reads ‘Nurse Carrie.’ For an instant, I see pigs blood splash and fade away. When Nurse Carrie looks at me, I feel a deep horror and want to break free of her pincers. Her eyes are yellow, her teeth are too. My scalp is crawling.

“You should be in bed, little girl.” Her mouth drips milky venom.

I must be tripping. The drugs. I am sick. I am frightened too. I can only stare at her like she’s mad.

We’re all crazy, Vince’s statement echoes through my mind and I believe him more and more each time.

Nurse Carrie shoves me over a threshold into a communal bedroom. I hit the ground with a smack but don’t feel it. There’s gotta be a dozen beds in here. They look like children’s beds. I see mounds in them, like the mounds of food substance on the tray during lunch falling to the floor.

“Get into bed and stay there. You don’t want to be strapped down in the cool-down room, do you?” There’s threat in her tone, veiled.

I scramble to the nearest empty bed and curl into a ball, burying my head into a pillow. I can hear the satisfaction of my fear-fueled obedience as Nurse Carrie fades down the hallway, mean little white nurse shoes tapping along into the distance.

I release a breath with a whimper. I taste blood in my mouth. It worries me.

Is everyone in control here a reptile? Does everyone hide their cold blood just beneath the surface? Why am I still here?! I hate it here….where’s Vince?

Afraid to move or lift my face from the musty pillow, I still. There’s someone nearby. I feel it in my chest, the adrenalin deafening in my ears. The bed shifts, someone is leaning on the hard thin mattress behind me. My skin reacts in stinging sweat. When a hand  reaches around my front towards my throat, my muscles jerk me up and off. I don’t even hesitate to see who it is. I just run.

Down the hall again, same way Nurse Carrie brought me. Christ, I want out of this fucking place. I feel hot tears on my cheeks.

From out of a shadow someone grabs me and pins me against a wall. I want to scream and I try, my throat is tight and dry. Nothing is coming. There’s sawdust in my air. I want this to stop. I’m crying. I never wake up when I want to.

A hand covers my mouth and wide blue eyes grab my stare. It gives me pause; I know these irises. My scream dies before it begins.

Vince is standing there right against me. Holding me in a dark corner, his index finger to his lips, hushing me. His eyes are eerily bright in this darkness. I can feel how solid his body is, how warm and firmly pressed he is against my body.

A mood catches me. My body reacts naturally and heats up. I’m embarrassed. Thank god I’m not a guy. Otherwise it would be humiliatingly evident how aroused I am.

Vince doesn’t speak, his thin hand slips from my mouth and presses the wall, supporting his frame. He looks about in the halls. With each movement of his body beneath smooth taut skin, I thrill and salivate. His jacket is missing, his chest is hollow. His skin is pale as a vampires flesh. I’m dying. I wonder if he knows.

As he watches for the sentries, I watch his mouth and eyes. I don’t know what to do with my hands. I want to touch him, kiss him, run my fingers down his spine, exploring those vertebrae and suck on each one. Hunter was the only other person I knew with a spine fetish.

When his glacier eyes turn back to me, his mouth is pitched down. I never knew his lips were so thin. I think of them brushing sexually sensitive areas of my body. Oh god, I am so ashamed.

“You wandered away.” He says sub vocally.

I wandered away? Did I wander away from him unexpectedly? Where were we exactly when I did just ‘wander away?’ I cannot for the life of me recall anything before Nurse Carrie. I wish I could.

“I don’t remember anything.” I plead, trying to squelch the burning desires like punching a loaf of bread.

He makes a noise and steps away. I regret it and feel dumb. He steps out into the hall and stretches. “The screws won’t be back on this floor for another four hours. We can go to the day room.”

I think he knows. There’s an odd little tweak to his mouth, a glint in his eyes when he turns away from me a little. He knows, I’m sure of it. I scratch at my wrists absently, they’re itchier than before. I glance the gauze and they’re stained in my middle a dark burgundy. The nice feeling I was having is quickly turning into regret and self-pity.

“What do I do when I’m not here?” I mumble desperately.

Vince cocks his head like a curious dog. “Where else would you be but here, Rabbit?”

When I look up at him, he is grimacing like a lunatic, like the possessed. I wince. He steps against me again and a rush of differing emotions floods my confused carcass. He bends over me, I see his mouth, I’m curious and terrified. He is moments away and I’m dripping.

For once, my body reacts in self-preservation; I grab his arms and lock my elbows. His grimace hovers over my mouth. I taste his breath, it tastes like blood. Slowly, his mouth melts into a smile.

“I’m going to go watch Laugh-In and SCTV. Will you come sit with me? Promise I won’t let you wander away again.” He clasps my wrist tightly and grins.

I don’t want to be alone. I’m frightened of losing sight. I nod and walk with him as he leads me away by the wrist.


…..white-out….